The best way for me to connect with someone is when he or she is honest with me and when I'm honest back. Speaking truth into someone's life from my own testimony is a way I want to be able to give someone else insight to a situation he or she may be going through as well. So let me open up...
I have insecurities.
I want to be liked, I don't want to be alone, I want what society considers happiness. Why? A Christian woman who knows the love of God and how incredible He is still gets caught up in the things that don't matter. How is this so?
The fact that I'm only human sometimes doesn't sound like a good enough answer because a human can over come insecurities like this. The point is that I'm a human that is a work in progress. I have faith that I will be a stronger woman who only thinks about what matters.
I'm a person who wakes up every morning and thinks about God. I picture Him watching me wake up. It's just me and Him. I begin preparing for a day that I hope brings a smile to His face. I don't want to disappoint Him. I don't think about the people I'm going to encounter or be in contact with. My first thoughts aren't about impressing them. But, sometimes my day may turn into suddenly caring about what someone will think of me once I come into contact with him or her. Now it's not just about me and God anymore. I've made it about me and the world. I'm comparing myself to it, trying to compete with it, wanting to be included and accepted in it. The worse part of it is that if I'm not liked or appreciated by the world, I come down awfully hard on myself. I'm aware that this is true insecurity. This is NOT who I want to be. Nor is it who God wants me to be.
True PEACE, true HAPPINESS, true UNDERSTANDING of myself and everything around me that matters comes from lining my life up with the word of God. This is something that I know. So why do I fail to apply it sometimes? It's not an easy task, although it's the only thing that makes sense.
Me and the people in this world, whether friends, family, future spouse, don't matter as much as me and the Lord. When it really comes down to it, my relationship with the Lord is the only thing that matters. My loved one's (or strangers, aquaintances, classmates, co-workers) opinions and thoughts about me and my life can't be what I base my attitude about myself and my choices on. I should be confident about myself and my choices because I live a praying life. I try to pray before I make a decision. *Seeking the Lord's guidance and understanding for myself.*
In whatever I do, I have to always make sure that I'm bringing honor to the Lord and that the people surrounding me are as well. If they are not, I must share the Lord's wisdom with them, or remove myself if they do not welcome it. I must also remove myself if I'M the one not honoring Him so that I can figure out how I can do so.
Everything I need to smile everyday is written in His word. If I follow it, He'll smile everyday too.
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