Mrs. Fraysure’s kindness, Coach Brown’s insightful wit, Professor Lanning’s overwhelmingly enlightened perspective on life and Aunt Gail’s hugs. A second grade teacher, a high school civics teacher, a college instructor and my mother’s sister, respectively.
None of which were my mother; one wasn’t even a woman. However, each of them have stayed on my mind throughout my 25 years.
How did they know to say what they said and do what they did to impact me so greatly?
It may have been my personality taking well to theirs, but they would leave me contemplating things that I had never thought about before.
At eight years old, I didn’t just play outside only because it was fun. I stood in awe at the beauty of the day. The trees, the grass, the sky, the birds, the sun. Just being around my classmates and observing the way they thought about things. Even the simple moments of when my friends and I made one another laugh and smile. I was able to appreciate it all because of Mrs. Fraysure’s words. Her lessons; whether in terms of academics or life. I was always a shy, polite kid, but I remember her kindness made me want to be even more kind to others. Her positive words to and about me made me want to continue to be looked at in that light. Almost as if I didn’t want to disappoint her. In all actuality, it ended up becoming a part of me.
At 15, when the last place you want to be is sitting in a classroom, unless it’s to socialize, Coach Brown was a man that was still able to captivate even the most distracted teenager. He was one of the few teachers that understood that kids at that age like to laugh. He could accomplish the task of at least having us smiling throughout each class. Definitely an academic comedian. But more importantly, he made us think. He took politics, one of the least interesting and almost the most confusing subject for me, and applied it to our lives in a way that made it crystal clear. Most of all, he made me feel that I really had something special to share with the world. Even when I didn’t know it. He may not have even known what it was himself. But he gave me such confidence with each conversation we had.
After enlisting in the U.S. Air Force, living away from home, giving my life to the Lord, and even deploying to Afghanistan, I came back home as a full time college student to be influenced by two women in a tremendous way. An art appreciation professor and a humanities professor.
What impacts me the most is when an educator can teach an academic lesson and simultaneously teach a profound life lesson. That’s what both of these professors did for me.
The main thing that I think I received from each of these individuals is that they taught me about people. Specifically how different human beings are, yet how much we are the same- and how bewildering and beautiful that is.
Aunt Gail has always been a very kind and loving woman. I always called her my favorite aunt which is absolutely true. She was the only aunt to put effort into having a relationship with my brothers and me. Whether it was cards in the mail, phone calls, or visiting, she was there. Her hugs and kisses were the most cliche of all aunts and grandmothers loving on little children, yet at the same time, I knew that it was the most genuine display of affection outside of my mom. She never really made any sense with some of the things she would say to us, but we knew she cared about us. We knew we were welcome around her. She never had any children, so maybe that’s how she had so much love to give. Either way, she has been a wonderful aunt, still is, and I want to be that for my brand new niece.
Besides my aunt, most of these women were probably already mothers by the time they entered my life. But they didn’t have to be my mother to impact me. I am not married or a mother, however I did just become a godmother. I now know that I do not have to wait to birth a child to make a difference in a little girl or boy’s life.
I’m seeing that children these days are much more out-going than I ever was growing up. Even my peers as a kid do not have anything on these kids today and their boldness! But I do believe that a child can still be touched by the flash of a kind smile, a genuine hug, and even greater, a relationship. A relationship that consists of laughs, trust, motivation, inspiration, and guidance.
I’m encouraging women to find a young girl. One you already know or one you don’t. Regardless of whether she knows and loves the Lord or not, she is still going through everything you went through as a young girl. She is confused when she has a crush on a boy. She is confused when she’s getting a lot of attention from boys. She is confused when girls are mean to her.
Young girls are already virtuous young ladies, they simply must acknowledge, embrace and practice those virtues. They must have the right motives and ensure their words and actions are for a purpose.
My heart breaks for some girls who are products of family curses where the cycle goes ‘round and ‘round. Salvation skips multiple generations. Who’s going to step in and stop the cycle? Some mothers are educating and loving their daughters as they should; some are not. Could you be that teacher, that counselor, that mentor, that kind smile who senses that a girl needs a love that she can only find in one place?
Though there’s power in His name, you won’t even have to mention it if she spends enough time with you. She’ll know you’re a believer...and will want what you have. Pursue relationships with the next generations. It took 21 years for me to fall in love with Jesus. Girls should and can find Him much sooner- and we know that once they do, their true beauty will shine through to others; but more importantly they will see the beauty within themselves.
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